It's that time of the week again, Queens!It's time for some Real Talk Love Therapy!
Real Talk Love Therapy is our new podcast where we hope to create a productive space of discussion to challenge traditionally held views about love, and redefine what it means to be a millennial navigating love, sex, and relationships from a POC perspective. You can read more about it by clicking the button below!
This week's episode is all about breakups, and exploring whether or not they always have to end in a hot mess?So Eli and I (Daysha) both just got out of long-term relationships, and found that our breakups were quite “pleasant”... Well as pleasant as a breakup can be anyway.But we also recognized that this time around we were the ones that ended the relationships we were in. So we decided to dig into our relationship past to see if there was a time that we had been broken up with, and whether or not it was better to be the person being broken up with or the person initiating the breakup?
I personally prefer being broken up with because I have my post-breakup routine down to a T!
Old school of Mary J Blige on repeat, and a tub of Ben & Jerry's anyone? (Well #realtalk now that I'm a healthy foodie it would be a tub of Arctic Zero lol).
I also know that I'm really good at being able to pick myself back up again, whereas ending a relationship is much harder for me because I hate the guilt of feeling like I'm hurting someone that I loved.Eli was out here trying to tell bold face lies that he's never been broken up with before, when in actuality he got broken up with once when he was in middle school.But for the most part he finds that he tends to be the one that ends his relationships, because he's not into them anymore. So he is trying to work on figuring out why he tends to lose interest so fast.
But he brought up a good point about how important family can be in shaping your attitudes towards dating and relationships, as his grandma was very averse to him and other members in the family dating.We also talked about how likely it was for breakups to come out of nowhere, or if it was possible for someone to not see their breakup coming?So do you think breakups always have to be messy?What has your break up experience been like? Let us know your best and worst breakup story either in the comments or on social media!
That's it for this week's episode! Make sure you're subscribed to Real Talk Love Therapy on SoundCloud or iTunes, and to the Yes Queen YouTube channel to see all the behind-the-scenes moments from our recording sessions like the one below.
Click the button above to subscribe, and never miss out on any of the ridiculousness that happens during our shoots.
We'll catch y'all next week on the Real Talk Love Therapy couch!In love, peace, and unapologetic fierceness,
Where are you going, Queen?! Check out these other articles before you leave…
If you like what you read, please share, like, comment, and subscribe to our email list!
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Hi my Queens! Who's in the mood for some Real Talk Love Therapy?YAAASS QUEENS! Well you're in luck because we got a fresh new episode for ya!
Real Talk Love Therapy is our new podcast where we hope to create a productive space of discussion to challenge traditionally held views about love, and redefine what it means to be a millennial navigating love, sex, and relationships from a POC perspective. You can read more about it by clicking the button below!
So for this week's episode, we're moving Eggplant Friday to Thursday, as Eli and I decided to explore the world of dick pics and sexting!And we couldn't think of a guest more perfectly suited to bring us into this world other than Pero Like’s Curly Velasquez!
Curly and I go waaaaaay back to when he used to work in the kitchen at BuzzFeed, and I was a little baby intern.
Fun Fact: Curly really wanted to learn how to become a producer when he worked in the kitchen. So I would come in on weekends to try and teach him how to use Premiere… but it almost never happened because we always enjoyed talking to each other more lol.
You might recognize Curly from a few of these classic BuzzFeed hits...OMG LOOK AT BABY CURLY AND BABY ELI!So as you can see from the “How Much Does Your Penis Size Matter?” video, Curly is certainly no stranger when it comes to talking about dicks.And he loves a good dick pic, especially when they get slid into his DMs... as long as you're older than 25 tho.
And given that I've never gotten one, and Eli very rarely sends them, we decided to let Curly school us on the art of sending a good dick pic...And BOY did we learn!Check out our full conversation by clicking on the button below!Conversation Highlights:
"At this point I've seen so many dicks that they're like lil' snowflakes"-- Curly
“We live in the internet age where you don't want your dick pics to be leaked, but I feel like if mine did I might have a boyfriend by now.” -- Curly
So how do you feel about dick pics/sexting?Are you a dick pic/sexting virgin like me, or are you a *consenting* seasoned pro?What do you think are the best ways to craft a dick pic/a sext?
She CLEARLY wins at life lol.
And which one of these dick pics would you Scroll, Double Tap or DM?
Check out this behind-the-scenes moment of our recording session as we play our favorite closing game, Scroll, Double Tap, or DM with The Rock, Kevin Hart and Chris Pratt. And let me tell y'all... I don't think Eli is ever gonna be here for my choice lol.
I also made a slllliiiiight Freudian slip that you don't want to miss, and would probably have Kevin Hart looking at me like...
But he out here cheatin' on his pregnant baby mama so... ***FREE SHRUGS***
Let us know your thoughts on this week's episode, or your Scroll, Double Tap, or DM combination on social media by tagging us (@itselivazquez @yesqueenlife @dayshaveronica), and using the hashtag, #RealTalkLoveTherapy.
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If you like what you read, please share, like, comment, and subscribe to our email list!
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Hi Queens! It's our favorite time of the week again!
So check it... I (Daysha) was working out at the gym a few weeks ago. I was specifically on the treadmill, with my earbuds popped in, probably listening to some Cardi B or Demi Lovato song to hype up me through my 30 min morning walk.
And then out of the corner of my eye I see some guy starting to walk towards me...
I see that he wants to speak with me, so I pop out one earbud assuming that he wants to know when I'll be done with the treadmill.
But of course the first thing I hear out of his mouth is "You know I think you're that underrated kind of cute..."
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And after I let him carry on with his slightly offensive diatribe about how no one else in the world could appreciate my beauty the way he did, he finally went in for the ask.
Since I was in a relationship at the time, I declined the offer and let him know that I was boo'ed up already.
But then he did the thing that I'll never understand why people do it...
After expressing romantic interest in me, and being declined, he then tried to ask for my number... as "friends."
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But really though... FRIENDS? That's what we doing?
So for this week's episode, I wanted to talk about what are some of the best ways to hit on someone...
What are some of the worst ways to hit on someone (hint: it definitely involves touching a woman by herself on the street at night)...
And why is it so hard for us to handle rejection?
So don't miss out on all of the #RealTalk happening on the #RTLT couch this week!
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Check out our full conversation by clicking on the button below!
Conversation Highlights:
- Eli talks about how hearing the phrase "men are trash" used to offend him (Daysha would say triggered), but that now with so many lady friends in his life telling him about their horrific dating experiences, he's starting to be understand about the phrase.
- Eli thinks it might be because of guys having low confidence in the outcome of asking women out. So they shoot their shot with the "might-as-well-do-whatever-since-she's-never-gonna-say-yes" attitude. This frustrates Daysha, who could totally see this answer being the case, but being a psych nerd, also brings up the impact of self-fulfilling prophecy theory.
"So if you go into that situation saying 'oh I'm probably never gonna get it with this girl so let me just do it in whatever which way I want to cuz it's never gonna happen... There's a good chance it's not going to happen because you went into it with the mindset that it was never going to happen." -- Daysha
- Eli talks about how the "nice guys" are too shy about asking women out for the fear of being rejected, and how assholes are giving men overall a bad rep. He has just recently started to be more assertive when picking up women, and he talks about how his fear of rejection was holding him back for a long time.
- Daysha talks about how she enjoys asking men out because she feels like it gives her more power, and allows her to maintain a sense of respect that she feels like she looses when men ask her out. But with women asking men out not being a popular cultural practice, she still finds herself being asked out disrespectfully.
"The way that you ask me out is already going to tell me [about] the nature of the relationship. Because if you ask me out disrespectfully then there's a good chance you're probably going to treat me disrespectfully throughout the relationship"-- Daysha
- Eli likes to offer up his number to the girl he's interested in to help lessen the fear of unwanted/disrespectful messages. He also likes to, what he calls "plant seeds of interest" in the minds of the women he's interested in, to which Daysha interprets as...
"Just learn how to take no as no. Otherwise tomorrow you're just gonna be that weirdo creepy guy that all of her friends are gonna talk about at brunch the next day." -- Eli
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So what's your thoughts? What do you think are some of the best or worst ways that y'all have been hit on?
Do you think it will ever be possible to make consent sexy? How do you think we should try to do that?
And lastly, how do you feel about having hour long episodes?
And don't forget to let us know your thoughts on this week's episode on social media by tagging us (@itselivazquez @yesqueenlife @dayshaveronica), and using the hashtag, #RealTalkLoveTherapy.
Also make sure you're subscribed to Real Talk Love Therapy on SoundCloud or iTunes, and to the Yes Queen YouTube channel to see all the behind-the-scenes moments from our recording sessions.
We'll catch y'all next week on the Real Talk Love Therapy couch!
In love, peace, and unapologetic fierceness,
- Real Talk Love Therapy: EP 2- Career vs Relationships... Can You Really Only Have One Or The Other?-- Featuring Becky Harris
- Real Talk Love Therapy: EP 1-Welcome and Why Aren't Eli and Daysha Dating?
- Unapologetically Fashionable: 3 Tips To Consider Before Buying Your Next Workout Outfit That Will Help Build Your Self-Confidence At The Gym
If you like what you read, please share, like, comment, and subscribe to our email list!
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Welcome back, Queens!
For this week's episode, since Eli and I are super hustlers out here grinding non-stop, but both in long term relationships with partners that have more of a 9-5 energy (and thus more time to focus on the relationship), we decided to tackle the age old question of whether or not it's possible to realistically manage a successful career, and a successful relationship at the same time, or if you really do have to choose one or the other.
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We had a very special guest this time to help us pull apart this age-old dilemma...
So as you can see from Becky's video background, she is the Queen of all things that have to do with love, relationships, and feelings.
But being the fierce Boss Queen that she is, and having just gotten out of a 5 year relationship, Becky is wresting with the idea of whether or not it makes sense to date seriously any time soon since having a successful career is really important to her, and her last relationship really made her feel like she had to choose being good at one or the other.
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So she decided to stop by the Real Talk Love Therapy couch with me (Daysha) and Eli to get some opinions.
And seeing that it's Eli and I, you know she definitely left with a lot of them LOL.
Check out our full conversation by clicking on the button below!
Conversation Highlights:
- Daysha was Becky's intern at one point, and Eli was Daysha's intern at one point while at BuzzFeed. Talk about coming full circle.
- Becky thought she found the love/career sweet spot by having her significant other (who also happened to be an actor) appear in a lot of her videos so that she could feel like she was spending time with him.
- Eli claimed that he was jaded AF being the child of divorced parents, and Becky hit him with the #realtalk, and said "I know." LOL. #ComingForTheJugular
"You're the character that we hope arcs in act III." -- Becky to Eli
- Becky is "very single," and all about being about herself, but genuinely scared that she might have to choose one or the other (career or relationship) in the future because of her last relationship.
- Daysha wants to believe that you can have it all, but it's about carving out what matters most to you right now.
- Eli believes that self-fulfillment, and going after your passions should trump having a significant other.
- Becky wants to believe that a plausible case can be made for one's ability to have both, but also can't help but feel that, realistically, it's just not possible.
"I fear that when you become really happy in a relationship, you no longer have that hunger [to go after what you want]."-- Becky
- Eli notices that he tends to date women that have a 9-5, work-to-live mentality, and is curious about what it would be like to date someone with a similar hustler's spirit.
- Becky brings up how hard it could potentially be to be a hustler dating a hustler because when you might be going through a rough patch, and your hustling partner is going through a good patch, this could arouse feelings of envy, as well as making you feel lonely because your partner might be unavailable when you need comfort. So she believes that there is an understandable reason why hustlers end up with 9-5ers, but wonders if there is true longevity in such a pair?
- Daysha struggles with the guilt she feels knowing that she doesn't have a ton of time in her week to devote to her partner as she is building Yes Queen and preparing for grad school in the fall, as well as her drastically different outlook on love vs career from her teenage years when she felt like a failure for graduating high school as student body president, and not as someone's girlfriend.
"I think I'm challenging so many things that had been ingrained in me since I was a kid, that I thought would make me happy, and that I've [recently] come up against, and I'm realizing don't make me any happier." -- Daysha
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So what's your thoughts? Do you think it's actually possible to manage having a successful career and relationship at the same time? Or will it always be one or the other?
Do you think two hustlers could survive being a relationship together? Or a hustler and a 9-5er?
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And lastly, why is Eli so salty towards Michael Bae Jordan?
Let us know your thoughts on this week's episode, or your Scroll, Double Tap, or DM combination on social media by tagging us (@itselivazquez @yesqueenlife @dayshaveronica), and using the hashtag, #RealTalkLoveTherapy.
Don't forget to tag 3 friends when you submit your Scroll, Double Tap, or DM combination on social media in order to win a chance at being a special guest on a future episode.
That's it for this week's episode! Make sure you're subscribed to Real Talk Love Therapy on SoundCloud or iTunes, and to the Yes Queen YouTube channel to see all the behind-the-scenes moments from our recording sessions.
We'll catch y'all next week on the Real Talk Love Therapy couch with our special guest, Curly Velasquez, taking us deep into the world of dick pics!
You don't want to miss this one!
In love, peace, and unapologetic fierceness,
If you like what you read, please share, like, comment, and subscribe to our email list!
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Hi Queens! Welcome to the first episode of Real Talk Love Therapy! YAAASS!
For our first episode, we knew that we wouldn't be able to get much done unless we answered our most frequently asked question... “why aren't Eli and Daysha dating?”
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But before we got into that, we first discussed the origins behind the podcast, and how it came to be.
I promptly replied...
And then we finally got into the question that everyone wanted to know the answer to… “why aren't we dating?”
I, personally, thought the answer was pretty simple...
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Eli, on the other hand, thinks that us dating would be an emotional World War III, and he doesn't think he'd be able to handle it.
Check out this behind-the-scenes moment of our recording session as we talked about why we think us dating wouldn't work.
Here is the whole podcast episode so you can decide for yourself.
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So what do you think about our responses as to why we're not dating? Let us know on social media by tagging us (@itselivazquez @yesqueenlife @dayshaveronica), and using the hashtag, #RealTalkLoveTherapy.
That's it for this week's episode! Make sure you're subscribed to Real Talk Love Therapy on SoundCloud (iTunes access will be coming soon), and to the Yes Queen YouTube channel to see all the behind-the-scenes moments from our recording sessions.
We hope you liked the first episode, and that you join us this Thursday when we talk to veteran BuzzFeed producer, and Boss Queen, Becky Harris, about the eternal dilemma of choosing between a career and a relationship.
You don't want to miss this one!
In love, peace, and unapologetic fierceness,
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If you like what you read, please share, like, comment, and subscribe to our email list!
About The Blog
When life gives you frogboys, you can kiss'em. You can even fuck'em. But don't you dare try and put a frogboy in a king's clothing.
Your queendom is strong enough to be run by one crown, and too valuable to pass off to frogboys because of silly things like societal pressure, nagging families, and the infamous "biological clock."
When Life Gives You Frogboys is my blog that is devoted to building care-free single queens. I hope you enjoy all my blog/vlog posts where I analyze my various (and honestly way too many) encounters with frogboys, and how I (Daysha) used the 4 Queen Commandments to become unapologetically care-free and single.
Click the button below to check out my other blog, Unapologetically Me. It's definitely a choice worth making!
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